Anywho...there we (my husband and I) were. There must have been 15-20 people lined up at the checkout counter; all with armloads of candy, flowers, various stuffed animals, heart-shaped Mylar balloons, cards, bottles of wine. I even saw someone there with a jug of laundry detergent, a can of tuna, toenail clippers and a box of mothballs. I would not like to be THAT person's Valentine...UNLESS, he was going to do all my laundry, make me a sandwich, organize my closet, and give me a pedicure. If that were the case...he'd be a TERRIFIC valentine.
As we meandered our way (like lab rats in an elaborate maze) back to the pharmacy area, we passed by the card and candy aisles. Both had been ransacked and only a few measly scraps were left for the Valentine vultures to pick through. The only cards left were ones that were either UBER gaudy, REALLY tacky, UGLY, INSULTING, or just plain WEIRD (not that there is anything wrong with weird).
The cards that remained screamed, "OH DANG, I FORGOT IT WAS VALENTINE'S DAY I BETTER GET ANYTHING I CAN FIND OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ARRIVAL HOME EMPTY-HANDED." You know the type...the kind with a picture of 2 Hillbillies (with no teeth). The female Hillbilly held 2 large crock containers of moonshine (with XX marked on the outside). The inside said something about "I wanted to show ya somepin sexy fer Val-en-tine's day. I thought a nice pair o' jugs wud be the perfect thang."
Even the "seasonal" aisle looked totally post-apocalyptic. All the cute doggies, bears and kitties were GONE. The stuffed animals that were left would have done well to go live on the Island of Misfit Toys. Somehow, a stuffed porcupine just doesn't say "cuddle me", and a stuffed crab doesn't scream "hug me". Let's not even discuss the plastic animal-shaped, jelly bean-pooping candy dispensers. Nothing says "I love you" like edible animal excrement.
All the heart-shaped boxes of chocolate were gone. The only candy that was left were things like Nerds, or Lemonheads, or leftover candy from Christmas. As far as I'm concerned, the Christmas chocolate would have been FINE. Chocolate...is chocolate.
Jonathan and I did NOT succumb to the pressure of buying cheesy Valentine merchandise. Instead, we made each other a card and Jonathan gave me a dozen GORGEOUS roses that where salmon-colored on the outside of the petals and buttery yellow on the inside of the petals. How do they do that?
Aren't they lovely???
Jonathan made me a card. He put a great deal of thought into it. Every element on it has meaning (of which he described to me in great detail). I "Photoshopped out" the sentiment he wrote on the inside. It's between us. After all, what happens in a Valentine's card...stays in a Valentine's card (or is that Vegas?). He even found a rose sticker in my stash that matched the roses he got for me. Who knew? He was SO GOOD, he went through my scraps and used paper from there instead of grabbing new sheets.
The card I made for him is much more...silly. I think I was a bit "punchy" from my allergy meds (at least that's the story I'm sticking to). I punched the "sentiment" out of the front and inside of the white card itself, and backed it in red cardstock. It was MUCH easier than gluing all those little punchies on there. The hole punch is an image I snagged from the internet. I printed the hole punch on cardstock and fussy cut it out to mount it on the card face.
I also gave him a beautiful bamboo plant for his desk. We decided this year to steer clear of candy. We're trying to be good and eat more sensibly. I tell ya...Valentine's day without chocolate is a new experience for me. Not sure I like it...but my ample waistline will.
We rented a movie, brought home Chinese take-out, and cuddled on the couch for the evening. It was a very lovely, laid-back Valentine's day.
I'm a lucky lady.
