Oh Hail No

Here are a few things I know:

• I know I live in Texas
• I know Texas is in the middle of tornado alley
• I know, speaking generally, things ARE bigger here
• I know spring/summer storms can be volatile, at best.

Here are a few things I DIDN'T know (until today)

• "Pea size" hail in Texas is really golf ball size
• "Golf ball" hail in Texas is really tennis ball size
• Texas hail is EVIL...and SPIKY.
• Ducks are stupid.

So, today we got our first hail storm of the season...and it was a doozy. I've never seen hail this big...or spiky. This hail was not smooth marble-like projectiles...these were spike-laden missiles of death.

Don't believe me?

See for yourself.

It's hard to tell by this photo...but these things had spikes protruding from ALL surfaces. They were little frozen Medieval maces--you know, the ones covered in spikes and connected to a stick by a chain. And they were HUGE...this sucker was over 3 inches across. DANG. It now lives in my freezer, so I can marvel at it whenever I want.

The hail started out "normal"...like little peas from heaven. Then the storm very quickly evolved and began hurling icy death bombs from the sky. The picture below is right when it transitioned to golf-ball hail. This is my front yard.

After it rained down golf balls...it started throwing those spiky hail monsters at us. The one below reminded me of a little frozen sun. It was actually quite beautiful. Deadly, but beautiful. Can you imagine getting hit by one of these suckers?

The storm slowed down and turned to rain just long enough for me to run out into the yard and gather up some hailstones for closer inspection. Then, it started back up again...and progressed back to golf ball-sized hail. And NO...I wasn't an idiot. I didn't run out in the yard WHILE the golf-ball-spikes of death were raining down. SHEESH, give me some credit.

In the photo below note the one in the middle. SEE IT??? It has Jesus' face on it!!! Wait, it actually looks more like Elvis. NO WAIT...maybe that's William Shatner. No matter...I'll make a KILLING on Ebay.

I even found a lump-o-hail that had a Zombie face! brains, Brains, BRAINS!!!!

Our cars, trees and bushes took quite a pounding. No windows broken. Jonathan's going up to inspect our new roof tomorrow (*cry*). We got lucky. About 2 miles south of us, the hail was softball size and it was breaking windshields, sky lights and destroying trees and roofs.

Oh, and my earlier comment about stupid ducks??? There was a mated couple of mallards 3 doors down...standing in the middle of the lawn during the golf-ball pummeling. They FINALLY waddled under the bushes for cover...but MAN...they stood out there for 5 minutes. DUMB.

Here's a video from the news last night.
Dallas Hail video